Redneck Joke Rating: ( 1029 votes )
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A man who had just moved out to the country decides to start a farm. He goes to one nearby and asks to buy a chicken.

The redneck farmer tells the man that they don't call them chickens there. "We say pullets."

Then the man selects a donkey.

The redneck farmer says, "We don't call them donkeys. Here we say, asses. And, by the way, if he ever stops on you, why just hit him a few times."

Then the man asks for one more animal. He asked for a rooster.

The redneck farmer says, "We also have a slang name for them. We call them cocks."

The man was walking home, down the road with his three new animals, when all of a sudden the donkey stops in the middle of the road.

A woman is also walking down the street and he asks her if she will do a favor for him.

She says, "Sure, what do you need?"

The man replies, "Can you hold my cock and pullet... while I slap my ass?"